An Announcement on the Future of Althas

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An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby Insanity » 06 Jul 2014, 20:15

So I just wanted to take a bit of time to inform you all of what we will be doing with Althas. This chatlog will describe part of what we're hoping to accomplish:

[1:14:57 AM] Agent K: Althas on consoles
[1:23:55 AM] Agent I: #AlthasforGamesphere
[1:41:31 AM | Edited 1:41:38 AM] Agent M: #AlthasOnSegaGenesis
[1:42:18 AM] Agent J: #AlthasOniPhone
[1:42:49 AM] Agent M: as a MOBA
[1:51:34 AM] Agent I: With DLC and micro-transactions.
[1:51:55 AM] Agent D: and always-online DRM?
[1:52:10 AM] Agent I: Published by EA
[1:52:18 AM] Agent I: With an unrealistically tight deadline.
[1:55:21 AM] Agent Q: and in-game ads...
[1:55:55 AM | Edited 1:56:07 AM] Agent I: And annoying hour-long cooldowns that you can pay to skip.
[1:58:10 AM] Agent J: and 10 sequels, just retextured :D
[1:58:34 AM] Agent I: Also terrible balance between the MOBA characters.
[1:58:55 AM] Agent Q: Not to mention the empty servers...
[1:59:35 AM | Edited 2:11:11 AM] Agent I: And a terrible 12-year old community.
[2:00:04 AM] Agent Q: who don't even know how to spell 'pwned'
[2:01:06 AM] Agent I: "lel pwnt n00bz u sukz l2p pls"
[2:08:05 AM] Agent K:: we'll sell skins in a marketplace for swords and armors

Additional details about our development direction may be found below:
-We will now be breaking individual chapters down into five pieces of DLC each, while the main game required to run the different chapters will cost sixty dollars.
-Althas will now be a console game, releasing exclusively on the Gamesphere, Sega Genesis, and mobile platforms. The PC version has been cancelled, and we have just finished burning all our Xboxes and Playstations. Wiis are fine.
-Althas is now a MOBA MMO, and will feature an exciting one map and one game-mode.
-Additional features such as sound effects will be packaged as cheap five-dollar DLC.
-This is the official announcement of the Epoch Store, an online shop where powerful equipment and armor may be purchased. Equipment up to level 5 can be earned ingame - level 6-100 items may only be bought from our online store.
-Althas will be subscription-based. Cancellation of the subscription will result in an inability to play the game and will call the Demons of Akavaron loose upon the heretic who seeks to disconnect him-or-herself from the majesty of Althas.
-We are proud to announce that Electronic Arts will now be publishing Lays of Althas: Sundered Order. Our anticipated release date has now been pushed forward to next week.
-We are announcing our day-one DLC, the "Player Character DLC". This piece of downloadable content adds the ability to play as a character within Lays of Althas: Sundered Order.
-Our MOBA guild system will have automatic grouping, and will be set to group every player that is over 18 years of age with a group of 12 year olds, exclusively.
-There will be exactly one skilltree in Lays of Althas. This skill tree has only one branch and the branch is stunted from its original growth in Mordor. We uprooted it and took it home and now we're giving it to you, the players.
-Our community forums will disallow public posting, starting from tomorrow.
-We have hired a team of goldfish to manage Public Relations. Please direct all questions, comments, and criticism to this dedicated group of community managers.
-We are adding the ability to resell your copy of Lays of Althas: Sundered Order back to our development team. The resale value is exactly two cents.
-Power to the players! Players will be able to customize and create their own characters in Lays of Althas, utilizing our half-baked character creator that usually spews out content that look like nuclear-roasted badgers that had eaten psychedelic mushrooms.
-To help make Althas more accessible to newcomers to the RPG genre, we are disabling all RPG features. Said cancelled features will be replaced with six chimpanzees trained to cater to the needs of gamers, wielding shock batons.
-As we know the gaming community adores retro games, we are making Althas run on 16-bit grahpics.
-NPCs ingame will be voiced by a guest star, Michael Jackson.
-Physical copies of the game will include a potato.
-Our development team have lost their souls, and as such, every digital and physical copy of Lays of Althas: Sundered Order will be cursed. Specifics are too horrific to speak of.

Stayed tuned for more awesome Althas news!
Fear me, little one. For beyond your little circle of light lies only ravenous madness, and I am its master.
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby BlownKapz » 06 Jul 2014, 20:16

#word
Of a truth the gods do not give the same man everything: you know how to gain a victory, Hannibal, but you do not know how to make use of it.

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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby MEB » 06 Jul 2014, 20:26

Jesus, Insanity, that was under NDA...
If it looks as good as it lags, we'll use it!
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby Insanity » 10 Jul 2014, 18:38

I'm actually a little disappointed we haven't attracted a large enough fan-base to get silly people who'd actually ask if this is true :D
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby Arkaroth » 10 Jul 2014, 19:01

is it not? :shock: :shock: :shock:

How else we will be successful!?
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby BlownKapz » 10 Jul 2014, 19:25

The hype will come once we show off all our amazing stuff that we're holding back, Insan. :p

(hah, see I'm building up hype)
Of a truth the gods do not give the same man everything: you know how to gain a victory, Hannibal, but you do not know how to make use of it.

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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby TheAmazingTuna » 11 Jul 2014, 15:22

Insanity wrote:I'm actually a little disappointed we haven't attracted a large enough fan-base to get silly people who'd actually ask if this is true :D


I'll start *Ahem* OMG IS DIS TRU3!?
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby Insanity » 14 Aug 2014, 04:52

Yes, yes it is true. Tremble and cower!
Fear me, little one. For beyond your little circle of light lies only ravenous madness, and I am its master.
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby jdgameart » 15 Aug 2014, 06:23

I'm buying it just for the in-game ads.

I hope to see a pay-wall too.
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Re: An Announcement on the Future of Althas

Postby mikki7 » 22 Apr 2017, 12:46

Good answers and great options you recommend, I will know for the future, thanks!
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